What is This?

Do you know what this is? Is it a crater on the moon? Mold? A booger Gabriel wiped on the wall?
None of the above.
It's where I busted my butt falling down the stairs on Tuesday when it was raining. I locked the front door, turned around and FELL straight down the stairs.
I cried.
Like a baby.
My whole right side hurt. I decided a little bit later to try again. So with my toes GRIPPING my shoes I slowly went down the stairs and walked down the sidewalk with Matt. Did I mention that we have two other steps to the street?
YES I DID. I fell down these too!
I cried.
Like a baby.
Again.
Matt gave me a hug because he just didn't know what else to do. He hasn't seen me cry very often.
I won't tell you where these bruises are... SO DON'T ASK. I just REALLY USED MY CROPPING TOOL. Did I mention that there are A LOT more than two... and they are BIG, Black and Blue?
I mentioned to Roger that he'd better be a good, nice boy or I'll report him for abuse... He laughed and said he needed a vacation anyway...