Am I fried? VOTE NOW!

I was reading in the paper the other day about this guy "Aderholtz" who was on house arrest and got caught by a cop outside some place he bought liquor. He had an open container and was probably pretty drunk. The cop tried to arrest him but he took off. I think he slung the bottle he was drinking at him too. The crazy thing is when the cop caught up with him and tried to use his "Tazer Gun", Aderholtz got it away and used it on cop instead! Is this kid crazy? YES!!! I laughed good at that one. Not because the cop got hurt, but just at the situation. You know when he finally got caught, the cops beat the crap out of him. I've watched enough "Law-in-Order" on TV to know that! His face was all messed up. WHAT? You don't agree? His face looks okay to you? I saved his face to my file and went in and "cleaned him up". Am I fried? VOTE NOW!... NAH! Just kidding... the other day ya'll all agreed that Patch was pregnant. I don't need you to agree with this!And I don't want to hear comments about me downloading arrest photos to clean them up... I'll hear enough about it from my mom...

Autism is really an overload of maleness

I have been doing some scientific research by way of observation. In conclusion, I have come to the realization that autism is an affliction of being TOO MALE. Ever heard someone say "You have way to much hair on your body, you must have stood in the hair line in Heaven 2 or 3 times" or something like that. Well autistic children have stood in the "male line" way too long. For instance, here are some MALE and AUTISTIC similarities:
1. In their own world
2. Hard headed
3. Not to concerned with hygiene
4. Everything has to be their way
5. Love of Television
6. Knows how to work all electronics in the house
7. Refuses to pick up after themselves
8. No Manners
9. Pick their noses
And number 10 is (drum roll please)
10. Never asks for directions or help!!!
My aunt told me one time that when a baby is in it's mother's belly that all boys are bathed in a bath of testosterone. This supposedly can cause slight brain damage. Which EXPLAINS a HECK of a lot! So I guess Gabriel didn't get the bath, he got the jacuzzi...
Do you see in this photo of Roger above holding Patch? He loves her. So please explain why he thought I was crazy last night because I am preparing for her babies. I am making sure Patch will be warm, clean, and comfortable. He says she can have these puppies without me. Sure she can, but why should she have to? I don't have my babies in the backyard with no help. Why should she? This is the same thing Roger and I went through when we were going to have Katherine. Roger said, "Real women don't need pain medicine to have a baby." I told him, "yeah? Well real men don't need pain medicine to have their teeth worked on or ripped out either. Next time Roger heads to the dentist... I'M scheduling his appointment. KnowwhatImeanvern.

I am NOT Pentecostal!

Last week, I guess Thursday I called Gabriel's neurologist and asked him to slightly increase the dose of Clonidine he is taking because this is the dose he was prescribed at 3 years of age and his weight has increased. They called it in and I went by early on Sunday morning to pick it up because I had ran out finally the night before. When I got home and ran in the house eager to give the "Tilly-mister" his chill pill, I noticed that it was not what I ordered "on the menu". I called CVS thinking that they were the one's who made the mistake. It was however the DOCTOR who called in this crap medicine that worked about as good as upside down outhouse. That's a fairly accurate description too since he was still spitting on me and throwing CRAP at me 4 hours and 2 doses later. In my opinion I am being used as a guinea pig to see how I will react to this PLACEBO (fake pill that does nothing). I called the answering service and told them the Doctor had called in the wrong prescription for my son and I needed the correct one called in ASAP. She informed me that unless it was a seizer medicine that the doctor does not wish to be called. I ask you folks, WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WISH? I told the lady I needed the Doctor's address so I could drop Gabriel off at his house for the next 24 to 48 hours while he waited to call in the drugs. She informed me that it was against company policy to give out that information. "Well", I said, "It's against my religion to take my autistic son to church unless he is high as a kite ...after all I am NOT Pentecostal!

Are these Boobs big or what? Do you think Patch is pregnant? VOTE NOW!

Wow, I finally got this picture thing figured out! Did you like the nice big photo this time? I sent everyone an email with her picture asking them to vote if they thought (by the LOOKS of it) Patch was pregnant. So far everyone has said YES! I am still waiting for a more professional opinion that will tell me that this isn't a false pregnancy. Can you believe female dogs can fake stuff like that? It makes me think of wacked out women going around saying they are pregnant all the time when it's attention they really want. With Patch it would definitely be the meat. She's like the little old lady in the Wendy commercials back in the 80's... "WHERE"S THE BEEF?!" If she ends up not having puppies, I am going to be really mad I shared my steak from "Outback Steak House" with her Saturday night. I'll end up getting her a membership to "PETA" and put her on a vegetarian diet...

21 to 0

21 to 0
Originally uploaded by Rockin Robbin.

21 to 0

Good news! I don't feel like my son Matt's football team is comparable to the "Bad News Bears" anymore! I know that they were a baseball team, but trust me- the feeling is the same! We got to cheer all through the game Saturday and all those cheerleaders cheers sounded true! "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT ROWDY -R-O-W-D-Y! Last week they could have sang, " WE COULDN'T LOSE ANY WORSE IF WE TRIED -W-O-R-S-E! Touch down, after touch down, after touch down, CAN YOU FEEL IT? Yeah well Gabriel was feeling it too. He turned into a sprinkler. He had drank a red juice so it was red colored spit. I had to put my hand over his mouth that got covered with red spit. I wish more than anything else I could stop him from doing this. More than a shopping spree, a vacation or even winning a million bucks. I know what your thinking, "I could stop him", such pride you have! What an ego! You know I wish you could try! The only thing I haven't tried is tape. I have had some real fantasies about taping up his mouth...blog...blog...blog. Anyway Matt came off the field after the game with a big smile on his face. He looked at me and said, "We won!" Then a sarcastic tone "can you believe it?" and he walked away to get his snack and juice.

What else can I say... My Katherine

What else can I say... My Katherine
Originally uploaded by Rockin Robbin.

What else can I say... My Katherine

I tried to write about this the other day in a different way so everyone wouldn't see 2 headlines every time I wrote about something. It's probably pretty easy to figure out IF I HAD TIME. However it didn't workout the way I planned and I was to bummed out to write the whole #@#$ post again, thank-you very much! The basic story was that I had taken Katherine to a birthday party over the weekend in Ybor City to Gameworks. I COULD NOT find a place to park and when I finally did it was tight and I scratched the wheel of my HON-DA. I say HON-DA like an old boyfriend of mine used to say MER-CE-DES. He couldn't say "the car"... no, he had to say, "I'll be over to pick you up in the MER-CE-DES. Did I mention that the Mercedes was his mothers and it was 7 years old? Anyway very upset that I scratched the wheel of my HON-DA. I went in and took this great picture of Kat. I really took the picture of the whole group but afterwards I cropped it down to Kat. I took a picture of the group for the girl's birthday present and went to Walgreens to print it out and their picture maker wasn't working. I left and went down the street to CVS. Once at CVS I discovered I had left my WALLET in the buggy at Walgreens. And this wasn't just any Walgreens either! It was the one at the corner of MLK Jr BLVD and Nebraska Ave. For those of you reading not living in our area I'll explain : The street everyone refers to where you can pick up prostitutes and crack, UNDERSTAND? ...and I left my wallet there with a bank card that could provide lots of fun to someone not paying bills. I prayed/screamed/cried all the way back over to Walgreens. I said the same prayer over and over, "OH GOD PLEASE! When I pulled up into the parking lot I saw that God not only answered my prayer but he showed me how much he was listening to a prayer I couldn't even finish. There was a sale ad wrapped around it to hide my wallet, one that wasn't even in the buggy before! God knows what I am thinking before I say it..
I dropped Katherine and Matthew off at school earlier this week and as we drove off I had to slam the breaks of my HON-DA. Gabriel had taken off his seatbelt as he usually does (12 times) and he fell out of the seat and hit my chair. My first thought was it was something in the back of the HON-DA, but then he started whining and saying, "YOU OK?" I always say this to him when he gets hurt but now he was saying it to himself. I ask you people, ARE YOU OKAY?

ArmorAll and other liquids that are squeezed...

ArmorAll and other liquids that are squeezed...,
originally uploaded by Rockin Robbin.

ArmorAll and other liquids that are squeezed...

Last Thursday I left for Georgia/ Tennessee to see my Mom and other family members. I thought I would have something good to write about my trip. I don't recall anything but maybe it's because I've been so sleepy and getting caught up on all the rest I missed out on remembering that good tid bit. I stayed up late catching up on everything and got woke up at the crack of dawn by Gabriel. I had to be extra aware because I was staying with my cousin who just bought a beautiful new home and I didn't want Gabriel leaving his so called mark. I got to see my cousin David and his family too. Lucie Bug even came by. It was pretty uneventful until Saturday night when we were grilling out and Amy noticed my dog Patch peeing every 30 seconds. She had a discharge and I will refrain from describing it since this is a PG blog. We end up taking Patch to an emergency vet 30 minutes away who informs us she has Vaginitis and that she needs a douche! They also charged me the same price that they are selling tickets for a price to the moon. So my visit consisted of keeping Gabriel under control, douching the dog and figuring out how I could afford a trip to the moon. Especially since the gas prices were so high that I basically had already paid for the gas for the rocket that would take me there! After getting back home and getting the children off to school the next day, Gabriel got a hold of the ARMORALL. I came walking into the kitchen and almost fell on my you know what (PG remember?). While up in Georgia I bought a small bottle of Armorall at Walmart to keep my dash clean in the car from all the times Gabriel spit on me on the drive up. Gabriel discovered it in a bag I had brought in and sprayed the floor really good with it. My cousin Amy called last night to make reservations to come skate on my kitchen floor. Don't worry, I tell her, no skates needed-JUST BRING YOUR SOCKS.
P.S. It's $50.00 bucks a person since I need to recoup the cost of douches, doctor bills and GAS... To veiw pictures from my Tennessee trip click on the above photo of ArmorAll.....................

My Lucie Bug

My Lucie Bug,
originally uploaded by Rockin Robbin.

Lucie Bug

This is my Lucie Bug. Lucie stands for adorable and bug stands for DRIVE ME CRAZY.
Lucie was born a few days shy of me turning 11. She was the only daughter of one of my mothers friends. Since I was an only child also, I was very interested in Lucie. She became my baby/little sister/experiment. One time when she was around a year old I was babysitting her. I had lowered the crib side and she took a nose dive on to the floor. She was crying and I got her a bottle and held her. I will never forget those big eyes looking up at me with tear stained cheeks. I loved this baby with as much love as a 12 year old could. As I got older Lucie was always around. I would take her to Opryland theme park, or just to hang out with me at the mall as a teenager. Coke in my hand and milk in Lucie's. My friends called her "milk girl". One time my mom picked a friend and I up at the mall (yes, I had Lucie) and we had been smoking trying to prove we were OLD ENOUGH. My Mother was not stupid, she could smell it on us. She said, "Have you all been smoking?" No! was our answer, but Lucie being the 4 year old she was jumped out of her seat and pointed to us and yelled, "yes they did! She smoked 2 and she smoked 3! BUG= DRIVE ME CRAZY
I have stayed in touch with the Bug and she is 24 now. I still love her (she was my first baby!) and she STILL drives me crazy. However yesterday she called to tell me she is having a little boy. Is this little boy going to be a bug, falling out of beds, and tattling ECT...? Will he have that beautiful brown curly hair and big eyes that look back at me? I hope so... I love you Hayden Bug!